We are often told that "winners never quit and quitters never win." We admire people who show "grit" and stick to their goals no matter how hard it gets. This idea of "hustle" is very popular.
However, new research shows that always pushing forward can be bad for our health. Sometimes, the smartest and healthiest thing to do is to quit. This is called "productive quitting."
The Problem with Sticking to Goals
Constantly pushing ourselves, especially with goals we can't control, leads to a lot of stress. This isn't just a bad feeling—it can have serious effects on our bodies.
- It makes us unhappy: One study found that people who "stubbornly stuck to their initial goals" were less content (less happy) than people who gave up and found new goals.
- It makes us sick: Researchers found that people who struggle to let go of impossible goals have more health problems, like headaches and even eczema.
- It weakens our immune system: People who are better at quitting are less likely to catch the common cold.
- It causes stress hormones: Sticking to an unwinnable goal raises levels of cortisol (the main stress hormone) and C-reactive protein (which signals inflammation). Over many years, this inflammation has been linked to serious illnesses like heart attacks and Alzheimer's.
How to Be a "Good Quitter"
Being a "good quitter" isn't about being weak. It's a skill for protecting your health and well-being. Researchers say it involves two main steps:
- Letting Go (Disengagement): This is the ability to stop thinking about a goal you can't reach and stop putting effort into it.
- Finding New Goals (Re-engagement): This is the ability to find other meaningful goals to put your energy into.
People who are good at both of these steps have been shown to have much better physical and mental health.
Why Is It So Hard to Quit?
Even if we know a goal is hurting us, it feels difficult to stop. This is usually for two reasons:
- "Sunk Costs": We think about all the time, money, and effort we've already put in. We feel like quitting would "waste" all that work.
- "Action Crisis": We get stuck in the middle, endlessly wondering, "Should I keep going or should I stop?" This "what if?" feeling can be very stressful.
Quitting is not a "lack of character." It's a smart decision to stop spending your limited resources (like time and energy) on something that isn't working.
🧠 Smart Ways to Let Go
If you're stuck on a goal, here are some healthy ways to think about quitting.
- See the Big Picture: Don't look at the goal with a "microscope," focusing on tiny details. Instead, imagine you are looking at your life from "2,000-feet-away." From this distance, you can see what's really important to you (your values) and decide if this goal still fits.
- Ask Your "Future Self": Ask yourself, "In 10 or 20 years, will I care about this goal?" This helps you gain perspective.
- Try "Goal Shifting": Think about the purpose behind your goal. If you quit, can you get that same feeling somewhere else?
- Example: If you quit a stressful work project that gave you social time, you could "shift" that goal by joining a sports team to get that same social connection.
- Example: If you quit a stressful work project that gave you social time, you could "shift" that goal by joining a sports team to get that same social connection.
- Try "Goal Shelving": This is useful when a goal is part of your identity (like "being a musician"). If you hate practicing the violin, you don't have to quit your identity. You can just "put the violin on the shelf" for now. This removes the guilt and leaves the door open to try the guitar or singing later.
- Make an "If-Then" Plan: To make a decision less painful, set a clear rule for the future.
- Example: "If I move to this new city and still feel lonely after six months, then I will revisit my decision." This gives you a clear point to check in with yourself.
In the end, learning how to quit productively can make you happier and healthier.
Source: New Scientist